Friday, February 24, 2012

I WROTE A LETTER TO MY FIRST LOVE

Dear Journalism

I miss you. I'm sorry I left you for Teaching, I've thought about you every day for the past two years. I miss your passion, your love of interesting discussions, the way you'd stay up with me past midnight watching football. You made me feel secure and comfortable, which I took for granted and caused me to stray.

I won't lie, Teaching was good to me for two years. She was unpredictable, sometimes lazy yet relaxing, and I often didn't know if I was coming or going with her. Did she love me, or not? Some days it was like talking to a brick wall or getting blood out of a stone. Silence, confusion... it was almost like we were speaking different languages. I never had that with you, we were always on the same page. She was good, but she wasn't you.

I'm coming back to Cape Town in a few days, and I am so grateful you're giving me a chance to make it up to you. I know the breach will take a while to heal, while we both get used to each other again, but I promise not to rush you. The betrayal was a big one, and I'm sorry I didn't make more of an effort to keep in touch while we were apart.

I never stopped loving you, I just needed a change. This time I promise to keep the spark alive, with some varied stories and maybe a freelance piece or two, but nothing will be more important than our relationship. I'll call you when I get back to Cape Town so we can meet and discuss our future. I've loved you since I was 14 and have never wanted anything else, please believe that.

Yours always,
Lindsay

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Dear Teaching

I'm sorry to do this in a letter, but I don't know how else to tell you that our time together has come to an end. I'm leaving to go back to South Africa on Tuesday. Please don't follow me, there's nothing you can do to change my mind.

It's only fair to tell you that I'm returning to my first love, Journalism. I know it was always difficult for you to hear me talk about her, and I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings. I think you've always known that this would happen, and I think you will be better off without me. We didn't mesh as well as we could have, and I don't think I put enough effort into our relationship.

We had some great moments, especially in the beginning when it was new and exciting. The spontaneity, the way your eyes would light up when I walked in the room, the way we learned about each other slowly and carefully. You taught me about patience, last-minute adaptation, and your culture, which is endlessly interesting.

But I'm afraid our relationship became too repetitive, and you became too erratic. I know Journalism intimately, almost as if I'd studied her, but you and I never reached that level. Almost like a thrown-together pair, united for convenience and money. Also, I didn't like the food you gave me, almost as if you didn't care about what I liked.

Thank you for our time together, I'll never forget you. I have fond memories, and will tell Journalism stories about us for years to come. She's a forgiving lady, she won't mind hearing about you.

Fondly,
Lindsay

3 comments:

  1. I've just left journalism for teaching. It's not the first time I have strayed, but I can only hope it will be the last. Every day that I am away from journalism feels like a farce and I can only hope for the day when I will be back in her loving embrace.

    Until then, I am forced to go behind teaching's back and have an affair with journalism via my blog (www.theculturemuncher.wordpress.com).

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    Hi Lindsay, it was so cool to stumble across your blog. It seems we are in the same quandry! My twitter bio reads "A South African currently surviving a year in South Korea. Briefly seduced by teaching while faithful to journalism. Easily pleased by wine, women and song". Uncanny no?

    Essentially, I will be you in a year or two. I wish you luck upon re-entry into the journ world, and holding thumbs that it is not too difficult, as it's a journey I will have to make myself once I am done with teaching.

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  2. Upon further reading of your blog I have realised that we may be doppelgangers. My girlfriend's name is Jen. I also hail from SA and am returning to work as a journalist after teaching in Daegu.

    If you studied at Rhodes, then there really may be some voodoo involved.

    (I realise that I may seem like a creep. You will just have to trust that I am not.)

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